Már régóta szerettem volna kiszortírozni a régi dolgaimat. Tetszik a minimalizmus ötlete. Hiszem, hogy a sok cucc rámtelepszik mentálisan. Nem tetszik az „itt van már tíz éve, elfér, minek szabaduljak meg tőle”? ötlete. Sokkal jobban tetszik a „csak olyan dolgok vegyenek körül, amikben örömemet lelem” hozzáállás.
Tologattam már ezt a projektet régóta és hiszem, hogy ezt egy svunggal kell megcsinálni, mert apránként nem lehet. Szóval elolvastam Marie Kondo: Rend a lelke mindennek c. könyvét gyorsan, aztán kivettem egy hét szabadságot és leutaztam Székesfehérvárra, a szülői házba, ahol még mindig megvan a régi szobám. Úgy gondoltam, itt fogom kezdeni a dolgot.
20 darab 160 literes szemeteszsákkal mentem neki a dolognak. Ami nagyon tetszett a könyvben (és már ez megéri százszorosan az árát), az a kategóriák szerinti takarítás (a helyiségenként helyett).
Először jöttek a ruhák.
Könnyű eldönteni, hogy mi kell és mi nem (ami nem jön rám, nem tetszik, nem használtam már ezer éve az minek?). Egy óra alatt szétválogattam a dolgokat és 3 zsák már tele is lett.
Vicces volt látni, hogy egy ruháról ha nem tudtam eldönteni, hogy megtartsam-e, félretettem, aztán 5 perc múlva visszatértem rá és teljesen valószerűtlennek tűnt az egész dolog. Miért akarnám megtartani? Hadd hulljon a férgese. Mehet a Vöröskeresztnek!
A második kategória a könyvek.
Imádom a könyveimet, miért dobnám ki őket? Gondoltam én naívan. Lepakoltam mindent a földre, csak hogy lássam menny is az annyi. És ekkor jöttem rá, hogy baromi fontos lepakolni a földre mindent. Mert innen visszarakni a polcra – ezt kétszer is meggondolja az ember (azért sok az az emelgetés).
Lett egy jó nagy halom könyv, aminek semmi értelme: Unix 1989-ből, valami rissz-rossz regények még az előző évezredből (hogy került egyáltalán ide?), kezelési útmutatók (wtf?), soha nem használt nyelvkönyvek (a Neu Start német könyvet különösen gyűlöltem. Miért tartanám itt a polcomon? Ha ránézek, feszült leszek tőle. Akarom én ezt? Nem. Előveszem még valaha? Soha.)
Bevallom a nyelvtanulós könyveket félretettem, mert oda szeretném adni valami nonprofit szervezetnek őket, de a többit egyszerűen beletettem a szelektív kukába.
Amiket pedig szeretek, azokat visszatettem a polcra. A bő egyharmada repült a könyveknek.
A harmadik kategória a papírok.
Itt is összegyűjtöttem mindent, kiszórtam őket a földre és egyenként átnéztem őket. 14 éves Vodafone szerződéses papírok? Ööö. Bankszámla-kivonatok az előző évtizedből? Ööö. Jegyzetfüzetek? Kuka. Top Gun magazinok a 90-es évekből? Kuka. Szépirodalmi gyűjtemény mögé gondosan elrejtett felnőtt magazinok a 90-es évekből? Kuka. Egészen hihetetlen dolgok kerültek elő.
Negyedik körben jöttek a bisz-baszok.
Na ebből volt elég. Műanyag tolltartó 5000 évvel ezelőttről, félretett gyűrött sörösdoboz valami emlékezetes berúgásról (ööö mi is történt?), fesztiváljegyek, korsók, dobozok, gitárhúrok, meg a jó ég tudja még, hogy mi nem. Egy csomó dolgot eladogathatnék vaterán, de őszintén szólva: se kedvem, se időm, se energiám ehhez. Sokkal fontosabb, hogy a múlt ne húzzon le most, hogy megszabaduljak az ott lévő kötelékektől, ezért szép, nem szép, kivágtam őket a francba.
A végére maradtak az emléktárgyak: ezekből viszonylag keveset dobtam ki. Ide tartoznak ezeréves levelezések, képeslapok, fényképek, ilyesmik. Ezeket egy darab bevásárlózacskót töltenek meg, így ezeket megtartom.
Pár észrevétel a rakodásból:
- érdekes volt látni, hogy annak ellenére, hogy szerintem ez egy nagyon pozitív dolog, mennyien megrökönyödtek rajta, sőt, még le is akartak beszélni róla. Nem, nem kérek nehezített pályát. 🙂
- nem értem a dolog végére. Csak a kiszórást fejeztem be. Miután ez megvolt (és lényegesen kevesebb cucc maradt), Judittal kitarakítottuk a szobát és úgy döntöttem, hogy a dolgaimat majd a következő fordulóban rendezem el.
- ez egy próbakör volt. A gyerekkori cuccaimat lezártam, amíg megvan a lendület, neki fogok esni a jelenlegi életemnek is (azaz a pesti lakásnak). Aztán jöhetnek a digitális dolgaim.
- már most érzem, hogy jót tett a dolog lelkileg. Akárki akármit is mond, a rengeteg cucc lefoglalja a figyelmet és a szemet is. Gondolom valami ősi ösztön lehet. Ha kevesebb a cucc körülöttem, kevesebb a potenciálisan fenyegető veszély.
- Nagyon jó volt az egész arra, hogy lássam, mi érdekelt gyerekként. Imádtam repülőmodellezni, valamint baromi sokat olvastam a második világháborúról (mert érdekel). Úgyhogy a jelenlegi életembe ezeket szeretném visszahozni. Tök jó látni, ahogy letisztázza a dolgokat ez a rendrakás.
- az eredmény 15 darab 160 literes zsák „szemét” lett – amiket lehet, ebből felajánlok non-profitoknak, de a legtöbbje tényleg szemét, ezek mennek szép lassan, részletekben a kukába.
Csak bíztatni tudok mindenkit arra, hogy olvassa el a könyvet és álljon neki. Egyszer kell megcsinálni.
Alant a könyvből aláhúzott jegyzeteim:
The way they hold the item, the gleam in their eyes when they touch it, the speed with which they decide. Their response is clearly different for things they like and things they are not sure of. When faced with something that brings joy, their decision is usually instantaneous, their touch is gentle, and their eyes shine. When faced with something that doesn’t bring them joy, their hands pause, and they cock their head and frown. After thinking for a few moments, they throw the item onto the “keep” pile. At that moment, there is a tightness in their brow and around their lips. Joy manifests itself in the body, and I don’t let these physical signs escape me.
Instead of suffering from the stress of looking and not finding, we take action, and these actions often lead to unexpected benefits. When we search for the content elsewhere, we may discover new information.
When we have reduced the amount we own and store our documents all in the same place, we can tell at a glance whether we have it or not. If it’s gone, we can shift gears immediately and start thinking about what to do. We can ask someone we know, call the company, or look up the information ourselves. Once we have come up with a solution, we have no choice but to act. And when we do, we notice that the problem is often solved surprisingly easily.
Yet despite the drastic reduction in their belongings, no one has ever complained that they had a problem later because I told them to get rid of something. The reason is very clear: discarding those things that don’t spark joy has no adverse effects whatsoever.
The average amount discarded by a single person is easily twenty to thirty 45-liter bags,
The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t. Quests to faraway places or shopping sprees are no longer necessary.
During the selection process, if you come across something that does not spark joy but that you just can’t bring yourself to throw away, stop a moment and ask yourself, “Am I having trouble getting rid of this because of an attachment to the past or because of a fear for the future?” Ask this for every one of these items. As you do so, you’ll begin to see a pattern in your ownership of things, a pattern that falls into one of three categories: attachment to the past, desire for stability in the future, or a combination of both. It’s important to understand your ownership pattern because it is an expression of the values that guide your life. The question of what you want to own is actually the question of how you want to live your life. Attachment to the past and fears concerning the future not only govern the way you select the things you own but also represent the criteria by which you make choices in every aspect of your life, including your relationships with people and your job.
We come up with all kinds of reasons for not doing it, such as “I didn’t use this particular pot all year, but who knows, I might need it sometime.…” or “That necklace my boyfriend gave me, I really liked it at the time.…” But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.
As you can see from her testimony, one of the magical effects of tidying is confidence in your decision-making capacity.
“Up to now, I believed it was important to do things that added to my life, so I took seminars and studied to increase my knowledge. But through your course on how to put my space in order, I realized for the first time that letting go is even more important than adding.”
Although we can get to know ourselves better by sitting down and analyzing our characteristics or by listening to others’ perspectives on us, I believe that tidying is the best way. After all, our possessions very accurately relate the history of the decisions we have made in life. Tidying is a way of taking stock that shows us what we really like.
“When I put my house in order, I discovered what I really wanted to do.” These are words I hear frequently from my clients.
Still, we often hear about athletes who take loving care of their sports gear, treating it almost as if it were sacred. I think the athletes instinctively sense the power of these objects. If we treated all things we use in our daily life, whether it is our computer, our handbag, or our pens and pencils, with the same care that athletes give to their equipment, we could greatly increase the number of dependable “supporters” in our lives.
Express your appreciation to every item that supported you during the day. If you find this hard to do daily, then at least do it whenever you can.
By eliminating excess visual information that doesn’t inspire joy, you can make your space much more peaceful and comfortable. The difference this makes is so amazing it would be a waste not to try it.
In the case of my client, every time she wanted to choose her clothes, she was assailed by such messages as “Iyo Oranges” and “Freshens Air Instantly!” almost as if someone were muttering constantly in her ear. Strangely, just closing the cupboard doors does not conceal the flood of information. The words become static that fills the air. From my own experience, the storage spaces of homes that feel “noisy” even though they look very neat on the surface usually are overflowing with unnecessary information. The neater the house and the more sparse its furnishings, the louder this information feels. So start by removing the product seals from your storage containers.
For one thing, a counter is for preparing food, not for storing things.
If you have storage space that should be sufficient yet falls short, try standing things vertically. You’ll find that this solves most problems.
When it comes to storage, vertical is best. I am particularly obsessed with this point. I store every item vertically if possible, including clothes, which I fold and stand on edge in my drawers,
Clutter has only two possible causes: too much effort is required to put things away or it is unclear where things belong. If we overlook this vital point, we are likely to create a system that results in clutter.
A common mistake many people make is to decide where to store things on the basis of where it’s easiest to take them out. This approach is a fatal trap. Clutter is caused by a failure to return things to where they belong. Therefore, storage should reduce the effort needed to put things away, not the effort needed to get them out.
If you live with your family, first clearly define separate storage spaces for each family member. This is essential. For example, you can designate separate closets for you, your husband, and your children, and store whatever belongs to each person in his or her respective closet. That’s all you need to do.
Start with clothes, then books, then documents, komono, and finally mementos. If you are sorting your things in this order, you can store each category in its own designated spot as soon as you have chosen what to keep.
I have only two rules: store all items of the same type in the same place and don’t scatter storage space.
The secret to maintaining an uncluttered room is to pursue ultimate simplicity in storage so that you can tell at a glance how much you have.
So decide where your things belong and when you finish using them, put them there. This is
Keeping your space tidy becomes second nature. You can do it effortlessly, even when you come home tired from work, and this gives you more time to really enjoy life.
But don’t focus on reducing, or on efficient storage methods, for that matter. Focus instead on choosing the things that inspire joy and on enjoying life according to your own standards. This is the true pleasure of tidying. If you have not yet felt a click, don’t worry. You can still reduce. Tackle this job with confidence.
“Ah! This is just the amount I need to live comfortably. This is all I need to be happy. I don’t need anything more.” The satisfaction that envelops your whole being at that point is palpable. I call this the “just-right click point.” Interestingly, once you have passed this point, you’ll find that the amount you own never increases. And that is precisely why you will never rebound.
As you reduce your belongings through the process of tidying, you will come to a point where you suddenly know how much is just right for you.
The more they have, the more they worry about running out and the more anxious they become. Even though they still have two left, they will go out and buy five more.
Unexciting photos of scenery that you can’t even place belong in the garbage. The meaning of a photo lies in the excitement and joy you feel when taking it. In many cases, the prints developed afterward have already outlived their purpose.
Because photos tend to emerge from the most unexpected places when we are sorting other categories, it is much more efficient to put them in a designated spot every time you find one and deal with them all at the very end.
The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.
Another item that is just as difficult to discard is keepsakes from one’s children. A Father’s Day present with the words “Thanks, Dad.” A picture your son drew that was selected by the teacher to hang in the school hall, or an ashtray your daughter made. If these things still bring you joy, it is fine to keep them. But if your children are already grown and you are keeping them because you think discarding them will hurt your children’s feelings, ask them. They are quite likely to say, “What? You still have that? Go ahead and get rid of it.”
That’s right. By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past. If you just stow these things away in a drawer or cardboard box, before you realize it, your past will become a weight that holds you back and keeps you from living in the here and now. To put your things in order means to put your past in order, too. It’s like resetting your life and settling your accounts so that you can take the next step forward.
Even if the house is large with rooms to spare, it is not some infinitely expanding fourth dimension. People never retrieve the boxes they send “home.” Once sent, they will never again be opened.
Most of these gifts remain unopened or have been used only once. Admit it. They simply don’t suit your taste. The true purpose of a present is to be received. Presents are not “things” but a means for conveying someone’s feelings.
Why do people pay expensive fees for such courses when they can read the same content in a book or elsewhere? Because they want to feel the passion of the teacher and experience that learning environment. Thus the real material is the seminar itself, and it must be experienced live.
As for papers that must be saved, these I subdivide according to the frequency of use. Again, the way I divide them is not complicated. I organize them into infrequently used papers and more frequently used papers. Infrequently used papers include insurance policies, guarantees, and leases. Unfortunately, these must be kept automatically regardless of the fact that they spark no particular joy in your heart. As you will almost never need to access papers in this category, you don’t have to put a lot of effort into storing them. I recommend putting them all into a single ordinary clear plastic folder without worrying about further categorization.
I divide them into two categories: papers to be saved and papers that need to be dealt with.
My basic principle for sorting papers is to throw them all away. My clients are stunned when I say this, but there is nothing more annoying than papers. After all, they will never inspire joy, no matter how carefully you keep them. For this reason, I recommend you dispose of anything that does not fall into one of three categories: currently in use, needed for a limited period of time, or must be kept indefinitely.
For books, timing is everything. The moment you first encounter a particular book is the right time to read it. To avoid missing that moment, I recommend that you keep your collection small.
Only by discarding it will you be able to test how passionate you are about that subject. If your feelings don’t change after discarding it, then you’re fine as is. If you want the book so badly after getting rid of it that you’re willing to buy another copy, then buy one—and this time read and study it.
The problem with books that we intend to read sometime is that they are far harder to part with than ones we have already read.
Let’s face it. In the end, you are going to read very few of your books again. As with clothing, we need to stop and think about what purpose these books serve.
The criterion is, of course, whether or not it gives you a thrill of pleasure when you touch it. Remember, I said when you touch it. Make sure you don’t start reading it. Reading clouds your judgment. Instead of asking yourself what you feel, you’ll start asking whether you need that book or not. Imagine what it would be like to have a bookshelf filled only with books that you really love. Isn’t that image spellbinding? For someone who loves books, what greater happiness could there be?
The most basic rule is to hang clothes in the same category side by side, dividing your closet into a jacket section, a suit section, and so on.
The Japanese word for healing is te-ate, which literally means “to apply hands.”
sleeping. If sweatpants are your everyday attire, you’ll end up looking like you belong in them, which is not very attractive. What you wear in the house does impact your self-image.
Precisely because no one is there to see you, it makes far more sense to reinforce a positive self-image by wearing clothes you love.
“Do I want to see it again? Well, not necessarily.…” If that’s how you feel, throw it in the discard or donate pile.
When you come across something that you cannot part with, think carefully about its true purpose in your life. You’ll be surprised at how many of the things you possess have already fulfilled their role. By acknowledging their contribution and letting them go with gratitude, you will be able to truly put the things you own, and your life, in order. In the end, all that will remain are the things that you really treasure.
To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.
When you come across something that’s hard to discard, consider carefully why you have that specific item in the first place. When did you get it and what meaning did it have for you then? Reassess the role it plays in your life.
The work of carefully considering each object I own to see whether it sparks joy inside me is like conversing with myself through the medium of my possessions.
To quietly work away at disposing of your own excess is actually the best way of dealing with a family that doesn’t tidy.
“Is there something you need that you were planning to buy?” before you start tidying, and then if you happen to come across exactly what they need, give it to them as a gift.
However, it’s extremely stressful for parents to see what their children discard.
The best sequence is this: clothes first, then books, papers, komono (miscellany), and lastly, mementos. This order has also proven to be the most efficient
The process of deciding what to keep and what to discard will go much more smoothly if you begin with items that are easier to make decisions about. As you gradually work toward the harder categories, you will be honing your decision-making skills.
People have trouble discarding things that they could still use (functional value), that contain helpful information (informational value), and that have sentimental ties (emotional value). When these things are hard to obtain or replace (rarity), they become even harder to part with.
Through this experience, I came to the conclusion that the best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it.
would have realized before I became so neurotic that focusing solely on throwing things away can only bring unhappiness. Why? Because we should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.
However, the moment you start focusing on how to choose what to throw away, you have actually veered significantly off course. In this state, it is extremely risky to continue tidying.
Do not even think of putting your things away until you have finished the process of discarding. Failure to follow this order is one reason many people never make permanent progress. In the middle of discarding, they start thinking about where to put things. As soon as they think, “I wonder if it will fit in this drawer,” the work of discarding comes to a halt.
Using this approach, people who can’t stay tidy can be categorized into just three types: the “can’t-throw-it-away” type, the “can’t-put-it-back” type, and the “first-two-combined” type. Looking at my clients, I further realized that 90 percent fall into the third category—the “can’t-throw-it-away, can’t-put-it-back” type—while the remaining 10 percent fall into the “can’t-put-it-back” type.
After careful consideration, however, I came to the conclusion that it makes far more sense to categorize people by their actions rather than by some generalized personality trait.
Many people are surprised to hear that such a seemingly viable approach is actually a common pitfall. The root of the problem lies in the fact that people often store the same type of item in more than one place. When we tidy each place separately, we fail to see that we’re repeating the same work in many locations and become locked into a vicious circle of tidying. To avoid this, I recommend tidying by category.
If you can’t feel relaxed in a clean and tidy room, try confronting your feeling of anxiety. It may shed light on what is really bothering you. When your room is clean and uncluttered, you have no choice but to examine your inner state.
If you can’t feel relaxed in a clean and tidy room, try confronting your feeling of anxiety. It may shed light on what is really bothering you.
The work involved can be broadly divided into two kinds: deciding whether or not to dispose of something and deciding where to put it. If you can do these two things, you can achieve perfection.
The urge to point out someone else’s failure to tidy is usually a sign that you are neglecting to take care of your own space. This is why you should begin by discarding only your own things. You can leave the communal spaces to the end. The first step is to confront your own stuff.
The best sequence is this: clothes first, then books, papers, komono (miscellany), and lastly, mementos.
I came to the conclusion that the best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it.
Because we should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.
In response to another feature, I filled plastic bottles with water and put them in the toilet tank in a solo “water-saving contest.”